Nevertheless, She Persisted

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IT WORKS
It works—it really does.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 88
In the beginning of my recovery, I was still working on my own will.  I was trying to think my way sober.  It was very exhausting.  I was "white-knuckling" it.  I would go to a few meetings here and there.  I would hear of these wonderful spiritual experiences that people were having and sharing their experiences.  I truly didn't think that was going to happen for me.  People would always say to me "keep coming back...it works if you work it..."  
Reluctantly, I did keep coming back.  Each time I went to a meeting, it wouldn't strength my hope that I could find the peace and serenity I was so seeking.  Soon, that hope began to turn into a belief.  There was no denying what I was seeing.  People with worse situations than me were transforming into healthy productive people.
At some point, my belief transformed into faith.  I had no doubt that God was with me every step of the way. Surely, I didn't feel this way overnight.  I had many doubts and questions about what God was and what his plan was for me.
I eventually realized He was always there with me, even when I thought He had abandon me.  I figured He'd given up on me.  Then I began to reflect back on my life and I realized that If I had applied the principles of AA to my life, things would surely get better.  And they did.  I learned to listen to God through other people.
If it wasn't for a persistent sponsor and God showing me the way, I'm not really sure where I would be.  I'm glad I kept coming back!

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