My Ego says..

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I'M NOT DIFFERENT
In the beginning, it was four whole years before A.A. brought permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the "high bottoms," the women said they were different; . . . The Skid-Rower said he was different . . . so did the artists and the professional people, the rich, the poor, the religious, the agnostic, the Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans, and the prisoners. . . . nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are finally down.
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 24
When I first walked into the rooms, I felt different.  My character defects and my ego were both telling me I didn't belong there.  I was scared, nervous, anxious because I feared not being accepted.  I feared I would have to make drastic changes and that scared the heck out of me.  Some of the reasons my Ego gave me was I'm different because I didn't have to do prison time or overdose.  What I did do was lose everything important to me, just as those folks had.  My life was just as damaged and unmanageable as theirs.  Basically, the end result of my drinking was same... the same as every other Alcoholic.  
My ego was trying to get out of admitting that I was defeated by making me feel different.  It's just like Ray O'Keefe; one of my favorite speakers; who pointed out that we are not different at all. Ray O'Keefe audio speeches made me see things in a completely different way.  I am an alcoholic just like everyone else in my circle of recovery.  The doctor, the policeman, the housewife, the teacher, the nurse, the list goes on.  We share a common outlook on life, a spiritual one that keeps us sober.
When I let go of my fears and began working my recovery, I realized the common goal we all had which was to stay sober and help other alcoholics recover.  We may have different occupations, different lengths of sobriety, different nationalities, young or old, how we all got to AA may be different...  but we will always be Alcoholics.


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