Commitment

-

"Intent reveals desire; Action reveals commitment."

- Dr. Steve Maraboli



Commitment used to cause me much anxiety.  It meant, taking part of my time do something that may or may not benefit me.  Of course I always had time to commit to drinking activities.  But doing things sober was scary for me.  All of the unresolved emotions and fears I had were travelling around with me in my back pocket.  Anxiety, low self-esteem, fear, loneliness, the list goes on...they went everywhere with me.

I would ALWAYS commit to things, but when it came time to deliver, I always fell short.  My children can remember the empty promises for sure.  I would make promises I couldn't keep.  I know now why I would do that...I was trying to make myself feel better or look better at the time I was making the promise, but when it came time to deliver...it was a no go.  I was either to hungover or busy drinking. I also found myself committing to several things at once and then I would be forced to make a choice.  When I didn't or couldn't deliver, I was unreliable.

Commitment is so important to me and my recovery today. When I can be reliable and keep my word, I can be trusted, When I am trustworthy I am honest.  My children now know they can depend on me.  

I do not commit to anything I can not do or am not willing to do. When I do commit to something, I follow through 100%.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Attitude Of Gratitude

-
Image
A THANKFUL HEART I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know. — AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37 I thank God everyday for leading me to AA.  I start my day with my Daily Reflection reading to put myself in the correct frame of mind.  I need an attitude adjustment the minute I wake up along with lots of coffee.  I am thankful for the life he has given me and blessings he has gifted me.   If I start to doubt God's plan for me and become ungrateful, my self seeking ways slowly creep back into my life.  I will lose sight of the plan he has for me.  I will become so wrapped up into my own world that I become of no use to others who need help.   I have to remember where God has put me and where I came from when I started my journey in recovery.  I cannot take those blessings for granted ; they are to be sha
Read more

Pain Is Inevitable, Suffering Is Optional

-
Image
MYSTERIOUS PARADOXES Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one's old life as a condition for finding a new one. — A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 46 Hitting bottom for me was the beginning of a new life.  The Ninth Step promises tell me "...sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly."  I reached a point in my recovery where I looked back and thought, 'I am a miracle'.   It didn't feel that way at first.  I wanted my life back, my kids back, my house back, I didn't want loneliness, I was tired of guilt.  I wanted it to all go away on my terms and my timeline. Slowly but surely, with faith and action, miracles began to happen right before more eyes.  For me and others in the program as well.  God has a plan for all of us and it is on His terms, not ours.   My alcoholic way of thinking believed that things should happen on my timeline and my terms.  'Of course, the program just wasn't
Read more

Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine...

-
Image
THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER At this juncture, his A.A. sponsor usually laughs. — TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 26 I can remember when my sponsor laughed at me. I said "What are you laughing at? This is serious stuff!"  She said, "I'm laughing because I did the same thing too.."  At the time, I thought, how is any of this stuff in my inventory funny?  This woman must be crazy.   For awhile, my guilt was telling me I didn't deserve to laugh.  I was subconsciously punishing myself for my past transgressions.  Laughing meant being happy and I didn't deserve to be happy.  So when I couldn't laugh, I drank.  I laughed when I was drinking, I was always laughing (or fighting someone or something).  It wasn't real laughter.  I still felt all of these horrible emotions inside but the edge was knocked off just a bit.  Just enough for me to laugh and try to portray to others that I must be "okay" because I was laughing. My father w
Read more