Building A New Foundation

 My morning reading explained the importance of a strong support system in sobriety.  My sobriety is like a garden.  If I don't water it, it won't grow.  If I don't prune out the weeds, they will surely take over.  It needs plenty of sunlight.

Before I made the commitment to become sober, I had brief periods where I consciously worked on staying sober.  Then there were times when I thought I didn't need a Twelve Step fellowship.  I didn't need to be involved as everyone else.  I would just go to meetings when I felt like taking a drink or using.    I thought I could still be around people who used and drank.  I just had to have the willpower to not indulge.

I couldn't be more wrong.  It's like my Mom always said, "If you lie with dogs, you catch fleas.." My recovery garden was full of weeds and it wasn't getting any water or sunlight. It wouldn't be long before I would start drinking and using again.

I had to learn and accept my triggers but was unwilling to remove certain people from my life. They were the weeds in my garden, and they were growing taller each day I let them stay in my life.

There came a point when I had to leave the city I was living in because I had hit rock bottom.  I began building a new life in a new town.  I had no support system.  I was hundreds of miles away from any friends or family.   It got sober relatively quick but not because I was part of my fellowship.  I isolated myself from anything I thought might be a trigger.  I went to work and went straight home.  Loneliness set in, and low and behold, I discovered a new trigger.  I missed my children horribly.  I would cry myself to sleep.  I began sporadically drinking again.  Certainly not to the degree I had previously been but I was drinking again and it wouldn't be long before I was full speed.

I knew I had to do something because my new life was worth too much to throw away.  I sought help with a Twelve Step fellowship and a solid foundation for recovery began to take shape.  I removed a few more toxic people from life that I'd picked up along the way and became more involved with the fellowship.  I met people who had the same struggles as me, the same interests.  They were all working toward one common goal and that was staying sober.

I now have a solid foundation of roots in my recovery garden.  I have learned how take care of my garden on a daily basis to keep the sunlight in and the weeds out.