Self Pity

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"Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.” ~Walter Anderson

Self pity can be dangerous if you allow it to control your actions and emotions. Bad things do happen and we have no control over it. We can control how we react. If you allow yourself to drown in self pity, it will keep you from moving forward. 

I spent most of my drinking days steeped in self pity. Why me? Why do I have to deal this? Those were the questions I asked myself in between sips of beer. It was so easy to stay in the self pity mode. I carried my bitterness and self-destruction everywhere I went. I let it affect not only me but the people around me. If I didn't find the courage to face my pain head on, I was going to sink deeper into depression. And that is exactly what happened. I was at a cross-roads. I didn't want to live but I didn't want to die.

 Pain can sometimes be the best motivator for change. I had to get sober and face my fears because the pain, shame and guilt was an unbearable burden to carry. When I began my twelve step program, I started dealing with the emotions, anxiety and fear. The pain lessened as time went on. I put faith in my Higher Power and hit my knees. There are always going to  be "bad things" that happen but it is my choice to deal with them in a healthy manner.

 Self-pity is a luxury I cannot afford in recovery.

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