Inventory

Putting demands on other people, in other words, expectation...

I'm learning in my recovery that one of my biggest character defects is expectation.  For years, I expected people to act a certain way. Sometimes for their benefit and sometimes mine.  With expectation comes great disappointment.  Expectation is okay for inanimate objects I suppose.  We expect our car to start in the morning.  We expect it to be cold out if our thermometer says its 0 degrees.   We can expect our cellphone to shatter if we throw it at a brick wall.  

We cannot put expectations on humans.

During my years of drinking, I had a self-centered way of thinking.  I expected people to love me or like me.  When my expectations were not met, I would go to great lengths to convince others I was worthy of their affection.  I would do things out of character.  This false sense of pride is very dangerous for an alcoholic or addict.  When I could not get what I “expected”, my emotions turned sour.  Frustration would take over, hurt would take over and I would react! 

I’m learning that humans are unpredictable.  I can’t worry about what someone thinks of me.  I can only worry about how my higher power feels and how I feel.  I have to ask myself throughout the day, …”is this the right thing to do?”  … “ am I really okay with this?”.

To thine own self be true…