My Alcoholism/Depression/Addiction/Anxiety Recovery Blog: Unhappy Hour-A Story of Alcohol and Alcoholism and...

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My Alcoholism/Depression/Addiction/Anxiety Recovery Blog: Unhappy Hour-A Story of Alcohol and Alcoholism and...: A Story of Alcohol and Alcoholism and Survival I looked like death yet still, something deep inside wanted me to be well thoug...

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Today Is Different

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THE CHALLENGE OF FAILURE In God's economy, nothing is wasted. Through failure, we learn a lesson in humility which is probably needed, painful though it is. — AS BILL SEES IT, p. 31 Today is different for me because I have hope.  I have faith that everything is going to be okay so long as I do the next right thing.   I can remember feeling as if everything was failing all at once.  Sometimes I had multiple issues going on in my life but It didn't mean that it was time to throw in the towel.  But that is just what I did.   I believe lots of times, I would just give up without trying, which in turn led to more issues, compounding on top of each other because of my procrastination and my fear. I was tired and defeated.  Some days I didn't have the mental energy to take on challenges in my life.  When that happened, I would do one of two things, sleep or get drunk.   I had this 'all or nothing' attitude.  I was trying to control ...
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Attitude Of Gratitude

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A THANKFUL HEART I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one's heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know. — AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37 I thank God everyday for leading me to AA.  I start my day with my Daily Reflection reading to put myself in the correct frame of mind.  I need an attitude adjustment the minute I wake up along with lots of coffee.  I am thankful for the life he has given me and blessings he has gifted me.   If I start to doubt God's plan for me and become ungrateful, my self seeking ways slowly creep back into my life.  I will lose sight of the plan he has for me.  I will become so wrapped up into my own world that I become of no use to others who need help.   I have to remember where God has put me and where I came from when I started my journey in recovery.  I cannot take those blessings f...
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Pain Is Inevitable, Suffering Is Optional

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MYSTERIOUS PARADOXES Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one's old life as a condition for finding a new one. — A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 46 Hitting bottom for me was the beginning of a new life.  The Ninth Step promises tell me "...sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly."  I reached a point in my recovery where I looked back and thought, 'I am a miracle'.   It didn't feel that way at first.  I wanted my life back, my kids back, my house back, I didn't want loneliness, I was tired of guilt.  I wanted it to all go away on my terms and my timeline. Slowly but surely, with faith and action, miracles began to happen right before more eyes.  For me and others in the program as well.  God has a plan for all of us and it is on His terms, not ours.   My alcoholic way of thinking believed that things should happen on my timeline and my terms.  'Of course, the program just w...
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