My Alcoholism/Depression/Addiction/Anxiety Recovery Blog: Unhappy Hour-A Story of Alcohol and Alcoholism and...

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My Alcoholism/Depression/Addiction/Anxiety Recovery Blog: Unhappy Hour-A Story of Alcohol and Alcoholism and...: A Story of Alcohol and Alcoholism and Survival I looked like death yet still, something deep inside wanted me to be well thoug...

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Self Pity

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"Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.” ~Walter Anderson Self pity can be dangerous if you allow it to control your actions and emotions. Bad things do happen and we have no control over it. We can control how we react. If you allow yourself to drown in self pity, it will keep you from moving forward.  I spent most of my drinking days steeped in self pity. Why me? Why do I have to deal this? Those were the questions I asked myself in between sips of beer. It was so easy to stay in the self pity mode. I carried my bitterness and self-destruction everywhere I went. I let it affect not only me but the people around me. If I didn't find the courage to face my pain head on, I was going to sink deeper into depression. And that is exactly wh...
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Pain Is Inevitable, Suffering Is Optional

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MYSTERIOUS PARADOXES Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one's old life as a condition for finding a new one. — A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 46 Hitting bottom for me was the beginning of a new life.  The Ninth Step promises tell me "...sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly."  I reached a point in my recovery where I looked back and thought, 'I am a miracle'.   It didn't feel that way at first.  I wanted my life back, my kids back, my house back, I didn't want loneliness, I was tired of guilt.  I wanted it to all go away on my terms and my timeline. Slowly but surely, with faith and action, miracles began to happen right before more eyes.  For me and others in the program as well.  God has a plan for all of us and it is on His terms, not ours.   My alcoholic way of thinking believed that things should happen on my timeline and my terms.  'Of course, the program just w...
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Today Is Different

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THE CHALLENGE OF FAILURE In God's economy, nothing is wasted. Through failure, we learn a lesson in humility which is probably needed, painful though it is. — AS BILL SEES IT, p. 31 Today is different for me because I have hope.  I have faith that everything is going to be okay so long as I do the next right thing.   I can remember feeling as if everything was failing all at once.  Sometimes I had multiple issues going on in my life but It didn't mean that it was time to throw in the towel.  But that is just what I did.   I believe lots of times, I would just give up without trying, which in turn led to more issues, compounding on top of each other because of my procrastination and my fear. I was tired and defeated.  Some days I didn't have the mental energy to take on challenges in my life.  When that happened, I would do one of two things, sleep or get drunk.   I had this 'all or nothing' attitude.  I was trying to control ...
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